The Journey: #37 Leadership, Not Mentorship

We often blur the lines between leadership and mentorship, but here’s the truth: just because you are someone’s leader does not mean you should be, or even can be, their mentor.

As my brand has grown, so has the pool of candidates eager to work for me. One shift I’ve noticed? The ratio of male to female applicants has changed dramatically. Today, the majority of people who apply to work on my team are women.

And often, during interviews, I hear something like:

"I’ve been looking for a leader like you to mentor and coach me."

I always pause when I hear this, because it’s a misunderstanding of what my employees will actually get from me. I can (and will) lead, guide, and create an environment where they can be successful. But mentorship? That’s different.

Here’s why:

I don’t want to appear to play favorites.

If I mentor someone on my team outside of the leader–employee relationship, it creates perceptions (fair or unfair) of favoritism. That undermines trust and cohesion across the whole team.

They need a safe space to talk openly.

True mentorship requires a space where someone can be completely transparent about their struggles, ambitions, and frustrations. That’s not possible when you’re talking to the very person who evaluates your performance and decides your promotions.

Mentorship is so much more than your current role.

Leadership is focused on performance within a role and the goals of the business. Mentorship, on the other hand, extends beyond your current job description, it’s about your broader career, your aspirations, and the person you’re becoming.

So What Do I Do Instead to help them?

Make introductions to expand their network.

Help them find blind spots they can’t see on their own.

Measure their growth over time, not just their performance.

Support them taking time for development, courses, projects, or opportunities that serve their long-term trajectory.

The Takeaway

If you’re a leader:

Be clear about the difference. You owe your team leadership, not mentorship.

Encourage your employees to find mentors outside of your reporting line.

Create a culture where seeking mentorship is celebrated and supported.

If you’re an employee:

Don’t confuse a great leader with a great mentor.

Look for mentors who aren’t responsible for your performance. That’s where the most honest growth happens.

Value both leadership and mentorship for what they uniquely offer.

The best leaders don’t try to be everything. They provide clarity in what they can offer and empower you to seek out the mentorship you need elsewhere.

That’s not a gap.

That’s a gift.