The Journey: #47 Thanks for Nothing

There’s a certain type of manager you meet early in your career who teaches you something important, not through their brilliance, but through their absence of it.

In my first SaaS role, over five and a half years, I cycled through a handful of managers. All different. All memorable for different reasons. But one sticks out because she was genuinely lovely, warm, positive, thoughtful, the kind of leader who asked how your weekend was and actually cared about the answer.

She was also, unfortunately, someone who could not get anything done.

Ever.

And at the time, I didn’t realize how dangerous that combination could be.

The Leader of Lip Service

She always said the right things. She always responded with enthusiasm. She always made me feel heard in the moment.

But then… nothing happened.

And it wasn’t malicious. She wasn’t checked out. She wasn’t resistant. She simply got overwhelmed, avoided conflict, and overestimated her follow-through. So the pattern repeated endlessly:

• I’d present an idea.

• She’d love it.

• Then silence.

• I’d advocate for my team.

• She’d thank me for being proactive.

• Then silence.

• I’d ask for direction.

• She’d agree that “we needed to resolve this.”

• Then… silence.

I learned quickly that enthusiasm without execution is worse than a hard “no.” At least a “no” gives you something to work with.

The Headcount Incident

The breaking point came when I requested headcount.

At the time, I was a Director leading a small team of three. New customers were coming in every day, and we were rapidly approaching capacity. I wasn’t being dramatic. I had the spreadsheet receipts to prove it.

So I did what any responsible leader would do:

• tracked the metrics

• forecasted the team load

• built a clear business case

• raised my hand early

I presented everything to her: the numbers, the risk, the urgency.

And she responded exactly how I hoped she would.

She said:

“Thank you for flagging this before we’re over capacity.”

“This data is exactly what we need.”

“This makes perfect sense.”

“I’ll talk to HR this week to get this approved.”

I walked out feeling relieved. Seen. Supported.

Three weeks passed.

Nothing.

Meanwhile, my team was drowning in new business. I was trying to protect them, protect our customers, and still be patient with a leader who insisted she was “on it.”

By the fourth week, I didn’t even care what the answer was anymore. I just needed clarity. Direction. Anything.

So I finally asked:

“Are you going to take care of this, or do I need to handle it myself?”

She paused, then said, almost casually:

“It might actually be helpful for you to present the case directly.”

I wish I could say I handled that moment gracefully, but internally I was screaming:

You could have told me that a month ago.

By the time I got the meeting scheduled, we were a full four weeks behind the initial ask.

Thankfully, when I finally presented the case, it was approved.

We hired someone great.

The team stabilized.

But the experience changed me as a leader.

Nice Is Not Enough

That manager taught me something I’ve carried through my entire career:

It is not enough for a leader to be nice. It’s not enough for them to be supportive. They must also be effective.

Kindness without action breeds frustration.

Encouragement without execution creates burnout.

And a manager who agrees with you but never moves anything forward forces you to do double the work.

That’s not leadership.

That’s lip service.

If You’re Interviewing, Ask This

Whether you’re job searching now or sometime in the future, it’s worth getting clear on whether the person you’ll be reporting to is someone who can actually advocate, influence, and execute.

Here are five questions that will tell you everything you need to know:

1. “Tell me about a time you had to move something forward quickly. What did you do to accelerate it?”

Look for action, not optimism.

2. “How do you advocate for your team when they need resources or support?”

Vague answers are a red flag.

3. “What’s your typical decision-making cadence?”

Fast with iteration? Slow with validation? Fearful? Avoidant?

4. “How do you handle cross-functional accountability?”

Lip service leaders avoid conflict. Effective leaders manage it.

5. “What’s the most recent idea from your team that you pushed forward?”

If they struggle to answer, you already have your answer.

Leadership isn’t measured by how pleasant someone is in a 1:1.

It’s measured by how reliably they remove obstacles, unlock progress, and protect their people.

Otherwise, you end up where I ended up:

staring at your laptop, whispering under your breath…

“Thanks for nothing.”